Patricia Hanrion, "Writergrams"

Friday, September 22, 2023

Naked Came the Bruce"

I guess as we get older lots of things about us change Like how we look and how we think, and we get mighty strange.

I've noticed as my days and years quickly pass me by Some things about my generation leaves me to shrug and sigh.

The eyes for most are the first to go and with that a Fashion sense and if you make a small comment, you are met with impudence.

"That stuff you're wearing does not match," you mention to a friend "The red and orange with that pink, it does not match or blend."

"You mind your manners," you are told, "I am the one who knows. "I've been on this here earth much longer than any Joe Blow"

The Smell and taste and next to go and follows really fast So enjoy your food while you are young, for it isn't gonna' last.

But the ones who lose their modesty have really gone too far, Cuz naked folks ain't pretty when their teeth are in a jar

"It shore is hot," Bruce said to me as he greeted at the door, He reminded me of the story of the foolish Emperor.

"Come on in," he beckoned, just like nothing was amiss He seemed to take no notice of his bare butt nakedness

So, I went on in and sat right down yet kept my eyes averted Then we talked about the recent news and other things we'd read

He wiped his brow and settled in on his couch of Naugahyde I wondered how to make a running break for the safety of outside

Then later as I pondered life and all that it can bring I know that for a certainty, I beg you do this thing

"GET OUT THAT GUN AND SHOOT ME QUICK." if I wander in my skin CUZ "it ain't pretty...not one bit, not even if it's kin!"

Yes, this really happened! P.A. Hanrion

Monday, September 18, 2023

We Can Survive Tragedy with Faith

Looking back can often take your breath away, when you realize what you have endured. Before our youngest son's accident we had managed to make it through other difficult situations. One with our daughter, who we discovered had been attacked and then threatened with harm to her family if she sought help or told anyone. She left to college without telling us what had happened. At the time Patrick was serving as the Bishop of our congregation and when she finally told us what had happened, I worried more about him trying to find the perpetrator. When he came home late from a church meeting, I checked the guns.

The sadness finally faded a little bit when a friend in the FBI found the perpetrator was in jail and would be there for a very long time. I remember asking the Lord for strength and asking Why? Why when we have been striving to live the gospel and sacrificing, "Why are we having to suffer such a trial?" I got an immediate answer, It was not a lightening bolt that hit me and left a scar like Harry Potter. No that did not happen, but as soon as I asked the question, I was filled with such a peace that my knees felt weak and I dropped down to hear a voice in my head. "If you keep my commandments ye shall not fear." My eyes filled with tears and I felt like I was wrapped in a warm blanket of comfort.

A few years later when my much too young husband had a heart attack. He had been home from the hospital after open heart triple by-pass surgery for only a few weeks; We took a walk down the sidewalk in front of our house. He struggled to make it past a few houses before needing to turn back. And I wanted to cry but without even asking a question, I felt that warm comfort wrap around me and I was filled with the peace of knowing he would heal. And we would be able to move on to another part of our life together.

Then came the tragedy of our youngest child's accident and not knowing if he would live or die. This tested us again, to trust and have faith. He became the boy who lived; not like Harry Potter, (but he has plenty of scars.) We watched him slowly heal and become a kind and caring man with a beautiful wife and three boys of his own. Since then we have been able to help other parents who had to say goodbye to a loved one all too soon; we understand the pain they feel.

A monkey wrench of life landed once again with an aneurism at the top of Patricks' well worn heart and we dodged that one too. Yet sadly, I can see the end of our puzzle, the story told. I hide the last piece of our puzzle so I can be the one who ends the picture and then others can hold it up and see our journey, our love, our struggles and yes, that we tried as weak mortals do, to keep our end of the contract, so we can be together with those we love for eternity.

Sunday, July 23, 2023

Ya Gotta LOVE Him!

My husband is trying to learn French He sounds like he is gargling and brushing his teeth His frustration is evident as the computer chastises his speech It is wrong to talk to a computer with no brain And I say, "that guy in there does not know how to teach"

My darling must have marbles in his mouth Then he has his accent mocked again by a machine. This is nothing less than gosh darn mean!

My relatives are of German descent. So I have not tried the language program that talks back And have set aside such an endeavor because in fact I know my talent lacks, I cannot grunt while I talk without some nasty taste So while he is busy learning French I leave with haste And when he begins his daily punishment Please don't ask where I went!

Friday, April 28, 2023

Going through my folders to throw stuff away I found some scraps of paper where I've recorded some gems. So rather than lose them forever I am putting them in the computer for someone to find?

Dance

Do you remember your dance. You promised to do it well

Did you forget the steps to do, not listen to the words

You promised to keep on moving, and harken to my voice

With bare feet spinning in time to the song, forward you would go

How You would return with grand stories and many tales to tell

So don't forget your dance You promised to do it well

Voices

Can we know the future,

Can we look ahead and see.

And if a vision comes to you,

Can you know it's revelation

Or you've had a bad fish from the sea

Should you ignore a push on your soul

Turn your back on the dream you thought?

Or should you heed the warning it has brought

Turn that Off!

Just like the new technology of phones and computer stuff

Can you turn it on and off when you have had enough

Or does a dark song plague you like the flu from a foreign land

Does it keep on knocking, beating like a band

Have you tasted of how it feels, often, or once in a while

Make sure you don't turn away, for other voices beguile

You can find your way through despair and the tragedy of life

Listen to the small voice, it will guide through pain and strife

How do you know which words to follow so you don't forget your dance?

Secret

The secret is simple, you learned long ago

If a song leads to darkness or your vision turns dim

You will know the message is not from Him

If the words make you smile and your toe to tap and nothing stops your song

You have found the place where you'll have joy and know that you belong.

I Want to go Home, Brain Fugue...

When Michael came out of his coma the first thing he said was, “Mom, I want to go home.” He said this repeatedly during his stay at the hospital. This statement pulls me back. Woosh, to the first time I saw the Wizard of Oz. I loved it when it turned from black & white to color film. One of the witches was gone in flames and monkeys few in the forest. In the movie Dorothy has one theme. “I want to go home.” Her new friends, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion, who needed courage, helped her on her quest to “Go home.”

After Mike was moved to the rehabilitation unit of the hospital he started having Sundowner Syndrome. This is the problem many long-term patients have where as soon as the sun goes down they exhibit unreasonable behavior. Mike’s greatest desire was just like Dorothy’s, to go home.

Mike became unreasonable in his demands to go home and would get out of bed without assistance. Not a good idea and danger of a fall when his balance is off. The hospital got a “sitter” to help keep him in bed. Now this lady must have weighed next to nothing and was as useful as lips on a duck. She could not stop a flea from getting out of bed much less a 6’3 210# strong young man. We asked for another bed to be put into the room We would stay the night to coax him back into bed. The bed was moved to block the door so he would need to climb over it to escape.

At regular intervals during the night, Mike would sit up abruptly and start getting out of bed. Then he would slowly stand up on wobbly legs. With his IV was dangling and his brain-drain bulb would swing down next to his cheek as he swayed clutching the blankets. After he got his balance, he would shuffle to the door. Patrick would be waiting for him and would wrap his arms around him. He would start swaying and rocking, blocking the way to the door and say over and over, “I love you, your mom loves you, your family loves you, and we want you to get well so you have to stay until the doctor’s say you can leave.” Mike would beg to leave but soon his strength gave out and his legs would start to fold. Patrick would sit him down, and then lay him back in bed…until the next time when he would sit up abruptly…then the scenario would be re-played.

I had stuffed this memory deep into my brain until one day about a year later when I was back teaching. I had students at United Cerebral Palsy Institute. It was lunch time, and my students were in the dining hall assisting the patients to eat All of a sudden one of the young boys who was very crippled, started to yell. I want to go home, mommy please take me home.

Until that time I had been pretty strong and somewhat brave during Mike's recovery, following and explaining the physiological implications to family and friends in a stoic fashion. But hearing those words found the crack in my armor and my heart broke...I was back experiencing the painful plea, "Please take me home."

I began to cry and sob with the memory of those difficult days. I quickly left the room and after about twenty minutes of hiding in the bushes next to the building, I called my students together and dismissed them three hours early. My eyes were red and watery and not one asked why they had the afternoon off, and I never told them, or anyone else what happened that afternoon.

The picture above is 10 years later when Mike received his Master's Degree in Education.

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Monday, April 3, 2023

Nightmare, Bad dream or am I awake?

He leans close as if a secret to tell,

I feel his breath upon my cheek

And know he is near, yet can barely see

I wonder, "Why is he awake in the dark of night?"

In shadow, the soft curve upon his lips portends a smile

"Are you alright" I reach to touch his cheek

Fear enfolds me as he dissolves to shapeless mist,

Looking to the pillows where he sleeps

Reason grabs my heart while searching for my dear

Neither here nor there yet both places be

He looks to shimmer then disappears

"What magic this, or message be it sent to me?"

His soul set free my heart begs, no

there is much to do before we dream

"Not yet, oh please leave him be"

The choice is made, I touch his face

And then with wonder he returns to me.

Written one month later January 28, 2020

I believe in miracles.

November 2020 a large inoperable aneurism is found in his heart. The family rallies and in a week, we are in St. Louis under the watchful eye of a Cardiac Surgeon M.D. son-in-law, a skillful repair takes place. My dearest is with me today and we know we are blessed.

Saturday, June 11, 2022

A monster lies deep within. I have fibromyalgia, doesn’t everyone?

1950, My first days at school when I was six were a joy to me. I loved to read and learn until it was decided I was allergic to school. As I walked along the busy street toward the little campus, I began to feel itchy lumps grow upon my elbows and knees. The nurse said, “You’re allergic to something that is around the school; the trees or bushes, or paint within the walls.” I was sent home and the lumps went away. So, after lunch I walked along the street again only to feel the lumps return…and that confirmed the diagnosis. I was taken to a doctor to get allergy pills. It seemed they worked, but the medicine made me very sleepy and for a seven-year-old who wanted to play and do well in school sometimes I hid the pills inside my pockets and launched them into the street as I walked along and suffered with the inflamed lumps in silence. Then as if by magic the problem went away. “You outgrew the allergy”, I was told.

1970, I met the strange monster again when I was about twenty-six and still didn’t know the illness by name. Weirdness began again. My second child was an infant when I awoke covered with hives. My face had changed into a lopsided imitation of a gargoyle. My husband declared the lumps were insect bites and ripped the house apart to find the culprit. As the day progressed the itchy lumps around my eyes and lips moved down my body, (like gravity was pulling them), and attached to my joints and the bottoms of my feet making it difficult to walk. But I walked anyway, for with two babies there was no time to lament the strange attack. Out of the blue the attack of the lumps came and went for several years until one night. I was attacked most cruelly and awoke to find hives within my throat, which made it very difficult to breathe. In the middle of the night with my face so swollen no one could recognize me and my breath coming in struggling gasps I went to the emergency room.

“You must be allergic to something; what did you eat?” I could think of nothing that was different. So, after massive injections of Benadryl, I was released with an epi-pen to help if I even had such an attack again. “We don’t know what this is so see your own doctor.”

I saw doctors every day at work so would cautiously ask, “Have you heard of such a thing?” The response was, “You must be allergic, you don’t strike me as a nut or hypochondriac.” I cut out many foods, including wheat, certain fruits and vegetables, and I changed our washing detergent. We looked at plants in the garden and for anything in our home but could find nothing that appeared to have caused me to have a breakout. I had hives on trips, when not at home so maybe it was in the car. We exchanged cars, still from time to time and I still got hives…then again, like magic, they disappeared.

1980, Great I thought. "It must be something we removed from with-in the house." But oh, nay-nay. Not so, because soon after that I began to have very painful sores on the inside of my mouth each month. I pin-pointed them to about a week before my period would start. The dentist decided it was a weak immune system and I had some kind of a virus that came each month when my immune system dipped when stressed with the imminent menstrual, often painful, period. Before that the dentist tested me for aids and herpes, but they were negative, so he decided his diagnosis was correct. He gave me an antiviral to take. It seemed to work. Then another doctor decided this was Bunk! He took me off the medication. The sores came back along with hives and runny ears. Yes! runny ears. Hmm. So, what is that symptom. Well, it’s hard to explain except it feels like I’ve been swimming and my ears have liquid draining out. I could especially feel it when laying down and would have a tissue with me to wipe at my ear when going to sleep. (I’m a side sleeper)

Los Angeles County hospital where I was teaching had an ENT clinic, so I asked one of the doctors to look in my ear as it hurt inside when it was runny. “Nothing”, was the conclusion. I asked different doctors over several months and the conclusion was the same, “I see nothing.” “But it’s runny and hurts like an earache.” “Ignore it.” I was told. So, I did. I slept with my aching ear on a heating pad for a few days each month…right before I got the mouth sores.

1990, I was tired a lot, and ached all over like I had the flu, but with, by now, 3 then 4 kids, I figured that’s how everyone felt. I often felt hot like I had a fever. I took my temperature and found I usually had about 99 degrees when I was tired and achy. Sometimes when I got home from the hospital (working) I would feel like one of the cartoon characters from a Donald duck feature who turned flat and oozed up the stairs. I would say to the kids, “Please, just a few minutes to rest, please leave me alone cause Mommy’s not here right now.” I would grab a tissue for my runny ear and throw myself across the bed.

It went on for years and I talked to several other doctors, one gave me vitamin B12 shots because she said I was run down. Others gave me things for my mouth sores and along with all that, the fatigue was unbearable especially if I was taking antihistamines for my intermittent hives. By now I noticed I was sensitive to light and sound during those times and once in a while I couldn’t hear very well, and my vision was blurry. “Did I need glasses?”

2000, I think the worst was about after about 30 years of weird stuff when I began to have IBS. Nothing I knew of, set it off, it just came. I knew when a poop explosion was coming because my guts hurt like knives were being inserted and the noises my bowels made were bubbly and loud. If I caught ‘it” in time with massive amounts of Imodium I was okay. However, if I was out of the pills or was too busy or ignored the oncoming symptoms the violent diarrhea hit with a vengeance. This is gross, but the diarrhea would run out like water, and I had no control. If it arrived when I was at a School Board Meeting or travelling in an airplane or car, I was doomed. I threw away many undergarments after soiling things inadvertently. Still do as a matter of fact, although now am more diligent about recognizing oncoming symptoms.

I have decided stress sets off hives and the IBS. Not always but sometimes so I try to be prepared with antihistamines and Imodium at all times. After menopause, the mouth sores decreased, but not completely…it’s embarrassing as I’m sure my breath is like the hind end of a mule during those times. Did I mention the pain? Not the worst thing, however it limits physical activity. I became a long-distance jogger; I was told this would help with stress. The pain continued and hit mostly in the joints and feet like 10 penny nails have been driven through your knees, shoulders, wrists, ankles, and elbows. Not every place at once, but each one in turn, and always in pairs. It’s all embarrassing as a matter of fact because, Geeze, I’m sure others think, “She looks normal, nothing broken, no nasty diagnosis, why is she complaining.” And so, I rarely complained. No one wants to hear it, nor do they understand. Oh, I get grumpy, but it could be worse right?

2005, What's this I wondered, and why does it come and go? The internet arrived, and I began to do research. My symptoms were all over the place. They covered all systems in the body. One interesting diagnosis was called Fibromyalgia, others said this diagnosis was psychological and for nuts. I knew I was not nuts so kept looking for an answer and followed the sage advice, ignore it.

Right, I’ve been ignoring it since I was seven years old. One doctor gave me a strong pain pill. I took it and when I woke up the next morning…the pain and symptoms were gone. “Wow, is this how normal people feel?” Then came the campaign about the dangers of taking this pill. Some said you would get addicted; I began to feel like a druggie! I quit taking the pill after feeing okay for several years and the pain and the symptoms returned.

2010, Then someone told me about Dr Kevorkian (He was the death doctor who had a mobile device for people to commit suicide.) His first five patients had fibromyalgia. Makes sense to MEEeeeee. I am not nuts. I am not nuts.

On the right: Last fall at Sundance with my daughter Colleen, who also has fibromyalgia.

The doctor that gave me the pain pills died of Hodgkins disease and years later I heard that before he died his license was revoked due to his over medication of his patients. One of the medications he gave me other doctors supported. This medication helped me to sleep. But I discovered years later that it impaired memory so am reducing the dose. My memory stinks and hopefully will get better if I can get off this drug. But everything has side effects! There are tons of new (very expensive) drugs advertised on TV. The commercials give the positive things the new drug can do to help a patient. Then the advertisement quickly lists the many side-effects that can be irritating or fatal!

2018, After we retired at age 70 and moved to Arizona most of the symptoms went away, except when we went to Canada for over two years. We lived in minus 50-degree weather for most of the time. My symptoms came raging back but I knew better than to complain or let anyone know of my diagnosis. Coming back to Arizona was wonderful! It was like being wrapped in a warm blanket...cozy and comfortable. So only warm places for me.

And if you have read this story to the end. I want you to know... keep away from Kevorkian because, with time, hope is waiting for you. Be patient and know that for many, Fibromyalgia leaves when estrogen gets low. A mature age seems to dampen many of fibromyalgia's irritating symptoms. (Or you just get used to them.) So, hope is around the corner and when others may feel aging is a burden or may thwart a good life. For some of us, mature older women who have our odd disorder, the pain, frustration and confusion of a younger fibromyalgia sufferer can fade away. Your later mature years can be golden. In six months, I will be eighty and try to enjoy every day, every moment, every second I have been given.

So, this is my journey and hopefully others can find comfort in knowing they are not alone.

Monday, December 28, 2020

How does it end?

How does it end?

Happy to be back in the USA after 2 years in Canada.

You sit through a lot of words and moments of grief, and laughter. You want to see how the story ends. I have gotten through a lot of movies and books recently. I stick it through. I give it my time for the sole purpose of wanting to know how it ends. And then, it stops and I still want to know how it ends.

How can that be? Has the author has run out of words or ideas or maybe run out of paper. The last page is turned, the film stops and you assume it is the end.

But Whoops, nothing is resolved. It ends with an unsatisfying bad taste in your mouth. You wait; maybe you read an epilogue, or sit through movie credits hoping; giving it one last chance for redemption and a satisfying tag… but NOOOOOO.

What is wrong with the world of literature? I for one want an ending. With good over evil, truth instead of lies and hope and love and happiness at the conclusion of a story. As an optimist, and glass half full person. I don’t want to be around grumpy, nasty complaining people, or I want it now folk. There is already too much of that in the world

So, give me the end of the story, please…and make it happy, positive, thoughtful or fun, promise me that… and I’ll suffer through bad acting, rotten music that does not underscore the film or I’ll read through all kinds of adjectives if there is an obvious conclusion. The end.

Friday, October 2, 2020

Corona19 Diary

01/03/2020 We are Unaware: We listen to early morning radio broadcasts before we leave for the construction site. January of 2020, the news was peppered with information about a lethal virus. The Illness seems so far away, most people dismissed the report. Little did we know that soon the world would be enveloped by a pandemic of epic proportions...which started in China.

01/19/2020 Corona 19 Diary First Reports: Little did we know that our days in the trailer were numbered and would soon end. Reports came from Asia and Europe that a deadly virus was spreading. It was moving across the world due to the travel of people who were unknowingly infected. We watched and waited

02/07/2020 We are Unsuspecting: Safety is an ongoing concern on any jobsite. Now it seems we may have a serious health/ safety worry, yet our health officials are slow to react. The morning radio has repeated the message about a virus called Corona 19 that is spreading from China to other parts of Asia and Europe We have begun to hear about a virus spreading in China and on a Cruise ship. I thought what many construction rules say…CAUTION!

02/14/2020 Valentines Day, CORONA 19 Virus is Spreading : Today the morning news gave a frantic warning about, “Corona or Wuhan virus”, which is now travelling from China to Italy, to India, Turkey and other areas. One method of spreading the virus is cruise ships. Landing in various places those infected spread the disease to those countries by interacting with the populace. living far away from the epicenter of disease and well across the pond, no one in Canada or Manitoba, or Winnipeg where we are serving a mission, demonstrated any fear about a new virus. Without a care, or mask, or gloves, or hand sanitizer we talked and laughed, and on Sunday we hugged and shook hands with most everyone we met. Most virus is communicable before the main symptoms appear...and then it is too late as a sneeze or touch can infect a bystander. It also lives on objects {fomites} such as surfaces, containers, or implements for several hours or days depending on the object. Travel precautions are not implemented at this time except for cruise ships who were refused entrance to several ports they were set to visit. Death is adding up aboard the Holland America, and Princess Cruise Ships. Authorities have not yet cautioned to meet in small groups or use social distancing as a way to prevent the virus from spreading. These protections are not talked about by health professional in Canada or the United States reporting on the epidemic. And I’m surprised, that most people in Canada don’t seem concerned about the epidemic. Even with a few cases reported in Nova Scotia, and British Columbia, the illness still seems so very far away. We are told, the virus manifests like a mild flu for most people but can progress to severe respiratory distress. It presents much like SARS and can lead to death. Many US States, and Canadian Provinces are starting to request travelers to self isolate and use a 6’ Social Distance. (what is that?)

02/28/2020 Corona 19 Virus; most people in North America are still Unconcerned Europe. We are getting reports including deaths. China gives a limited amount of information, but the Western World is starting to stand up and take notice. I have checked on my friend who lives in Milan Italy. They have not left their home in several weeks. A son who lives near-by is bringing them food and supplies. Still, most people we know are not concerned about the epidemic. We joined a large group of friends at a Chinese restaurant to celebrate the, “Year of the Rat” New Year. We were crowded around two large round tables. The food was good and soon we left for the Wong home to mingle and partake of desert dainties. It did not occur to any of us that we were at risk for a Covid-19 infection from exposure and interaction of our large group, or that many in the gathering are over 65 yrs. old, or that there was a threat of infection transmission from a food preparer who had recently travelled to Mainland China. We discover people deal with stress in different ways. The common populations’ response is to buy toilet paper. Within a week, no matter where you go to shop, toilet paper on the shelf has disappeared, including the supplies at SavOn, Costco, Walmart, Canadian, Super Store, and Sobeys. Our children in the United States send us pictures of their empty grocery store shelves particularly devoid of any paper product. We send pictures to our family about stalking the almost extinct prey of the “Rare Charmin Roll” and how we rejoice having captured a 9 pack. Very soon the ability to interact with friends, will become limited by the threat of the illness and death.

02/30/2020 The Understandable Attitude is; Who Cares, Not my problem! I’ve studied epidemics, such as the one that coincided with WWI and I never expected to be exposed to the huge amounts of communicable disease those folks endured. I am surprised, that most people in Canada don’t seem concerned about the epidemic. Even with cases reported in Nova Scotia, and British Columbia, the illness still seems very far away. Little did we know that familiar traditions of greeting and person to person interaction would change in the next few weeks.

3/06/2020 People in North America remain Uncomprehending of the danger Corona 19 is spreading across Asia and Europe like warm butter. It’s travelling from China to Italy, India to Turkey, and some is popping up in the USA and Canada. It’s amazing how people we know are still not very concerned about the virus. China continues to share a limited amount of information. The buzz word has changed from epidemic to pandemic. And finally, the alarm sounds in the United States, New York, California, Florida, and our home state of Arizona. But Still at this point Canadian radio news is more concerned with sports teams, cancellation of Basketball and Hockey is more shocking than the mounting deaths and reports funeral homes have no room for the dead. All states have started reporting Corona cases and deaths. The virus was not simply far far away...Corona was here and ready to contaminate North America top to bottom and side to side. At this point I wondered why the US started suggesting citizens to come back to the states. Having studied public, and community health and knowing how virus, bacteria and all disease spreads, I thought, “stay where you are.” A few weeks later the cases and deaths start to grow in the United States, New York, California, and even our home state of Arizona reported cases of Corona 19. The few news reports we get in Canada say, “The virus in Europe is spreading fast.” We began to scan for recommendations which varied from continent to continent, state to state, province to province. How can health professionals each give a different message? This is confusing! At church on Sunday, familiar traditions of greeting, such as hugs and handshakes, were replaced. Afterward we mingled and tried to not shake hands, we instead bumped elbows. One fellow decided tapping someone’s shoe was a great greeting, until he gave Elder Patrick a kick in the shin. We did not know that this would be the last Church meeting we would be attending for many months.

03/12/2020 The Unprecedented Creeping CORONA LOCKDOWN BEGINS- The threat of death is real. Virus cases and deaths are now reported in Ontario, Washington, and Oregon. The limited news we can get has communicable disease health care professionals as well as politicians and local celebrities suggesting recommendations: “Stay at Home and keep a 6 ft social distance.” Today we hear from Trudeau, and Trump reporting on national cases and hospital availability. Respirators are in short supply and the blame game for not being prepared is beginning. But most of the Canadian population continues be oblivious. The disease is communicable before the main symptoms appear...and then it is too late as a sneeze or touch can infect a bystander. The virus also lives on objects {fomites} such as surfaces, containers, or implements for several hours or days depending on the object. Symptoms are like a mild flu; fever, chills, and cough, for most people, but it can progress to severe respiratory distress. It is much like SARS, and can quickly lead to death. We are lulled into an almost soporific attitude toward the virus by the lack of news regarding the seriousness of the pandemic. We don’t get a newspaper (the Canadian free press is not free) and the radio is more concerned with sports teams, so we are not well informed.

03/13/2020 The Unexpected happens. Church news announced that missionaries who are not in their home country are being sent home. At our regular OAC meeting with Corey Daniels, and Robert, the architect from Abarc, and PCL Superintendent no one talks about the virus, however afterward Corey and Jim Kroeker, the Church Project Manager, decide we should close the visitor center and work from our condo across the street from the construction site. On

Elders with Masks: For several weeks Airports were packed with the returning missionaries. As the planes loaded up, others waited patiently in lines to board planes. Church Hymns, and tears broke out among the Seniors, young men and women going home.

Saturday I put-up CLOSED signs and we took our computers home.

Grandson Zachary Melby, home from Argentina, and his cousins, Jared Melby home from Australia, Kyle Melby, on his way to Fresno Calif. and Jake Melby home from Korea. All arrived back in the states within a week of each other and put together a missionary Webcast. Zack was reassigned to Dallas Texas and hopes to return to Argentina before his mission is finished.

Missionaries sent home will be re-assigned. Most returned wearing masks

Missionaries lining up to board a home. While waiting many sang Church hymns.

The World Begins tracking Unwanted Covid 19 Cases: “Coming to a town near you,lockdown” Canada cases 6,252 63 deaths United States 122,653 2,112 deaths Manitoba 72 0 deaths Arizona 919 17 deaths

Our daughter Rebecca called to tell us her Missionary in Argentina was being sent home. We watched several You-tube clips of thousands of young men and women and senior missionaries boarding planes to come back to the United States. We were worried we would be on a plane back to Arizona any day.. Without a hesitation we sent the message, “We’d like to stay. We are continuing with the documentation of the construction.”

3/19/2020 (Letter sent to our Special Project leaders) Quarantine Week #2

Church Special Project Department, To, Jerod Doxey, Corey Daniels, James Kroeker, Kathy Wardrop During this Corona-19 outbreak across the world we understand that many Senior Missionaries have been sent home from their areas of service. Most Senior Missionaries fall into the at-risk-group, and we understand this risk. We have prayerfully made the decision to stay in Winnipeg to continue our mission at the Construction of the Winnipeg Temple. We are self-isolating in the condo across the street from the site where we can continue to monitor construction progress and take pictures.

The only way to return to the states and our home is by a 4-day car drive; during which exposure is unknown and air travel is not recommended by the CDC or Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- Day Saints. We have access to the job photos to continue our work and will only return to the site as necessary. We will limit interaction with others by use best practices, hand sanitizing and social distance. Our potential exposure would be much greater in Arizona than in Manitoba by evidence of the number of cases present in each area. Maricopa county, where our home is located, is the greatest area impacted in Arizona. The Lord has called us to serve in this area and we believe we will be blessed for remaining here. Sincerely, Elder and Sister Hanrion 3/20/2020 Response to our letter of request to remain in Canada Sister & Elder Hanrion,

Thank you so much for this letter and for all of your efforts on the Winnipeg Manitoba Temple Site. I have enjoyed working with you and getting to know you…and I look forward to completing this project with you. If for some reason your condition changes, or you have a different assessment of the situation, then please let me know and we can make other arrangements. Otherwise, enjoy your quarantine in your condo with the most amazing view. Sincerely, Corey Daniels

We were happy to get the response quickly and that we could choose to stay. It looks like Manitoba is doing a bit better in statistics than our home county of Maricopa in Arizona and hope we will not be sent home like many others. Who knows how we could get there safely? Or be able to come back into Canada. Non-citizens of Canada cannot enter without special permission and signing a document of compliance for Sheltering at home for 2 weeks We settle into a routine, almost

03/21/2020 The Unconventional mission; In Quarantine we watch the temple site from our balcony. I can take pictures long distance, and we have decided to go to the temple site once a week to document progress. As we watch hundreds and then thousands of missionaries who have been evacuated board planes. We have talked to the mission president and he says that missionaries who are native to Canada will stay. Those from other countries including the U.S. are being sent home. We prayerfully decide to remain in Canada and send a letter regarding our desire Via E-mail to Special Projects. A response arrives the following day. We have been given permission by church officials to stay in Canada. Many are surprised we have remained in Winnipeg. 04/02/2020 MISSIONARY MOMENTS: Quarantine week 3

Covid 19, Some are Unhappy: The Virus has changed the lives of most Winnipeggers and all missionaries. We spoke with the Mission President and he informed us that all senior missionaries have been sent home and all young missionaries who are not in their home country have also gone home.

We have been obeying the Canada social distancing rules in Winnipeg and keep our outings to a minimum. Once a week we leave our little condo to purchase food and visit the Temple site. We take pictures of the weekly manpower counts. On one such trip while at the check-out counter of a grocery store, we were assisted by a cashier with a scowl look on her face. We told her we appreciated her service and thought she looked very nice. So, from behind her sneeze/bullet proof plexiglass shield she said, “I am not nice, happy, or want to be here.” We responded with, “Nevertheless, we are still happy you’re here!” At that point we all had a good laugh at the irony of the COVID-19 experience. On our ride home we decided that we had cheered her just a little bit.

4/03/2020 The Unwanted Covid isolation/quarantine We are glad to get daily updates from President Nelson. With so many conflicting orders and messages from WHO, CDC, Trudeau, and Trump’s medical advisors it’s hard to know who or what to follow. We decided, “We can’t go wrong following the prophet. He is so comforting, and we follow his council. Working at home looking at the temple out our 4^th floor window is not a substitute for walking the temple site once or twice a day. Checking on the new cases and the death count numbers is now a daily activity. We do not have masks and we see many people wearing them. The grocery stores are open early for Seniors and we have taken advantage of that kindness. Lines form on duct- tape marks on the concrete outside stores. I tease and say I’s a blessing, so we don’t get trampled by the millennials running around the store looking for toilet paper. Arrows are on the floor, so shoppers follow the way to go up and down the aisles. Some follow the rules (which is difficult because the rules change daily) and others don’t. Most don’t care but watch out! or you’ll be reprimanded by another shopper…as if you were trying to cheat at musical chairs. Shopping carts are cleaned before persons can take one and you are offered hand sanitizer and wipes. Most people wear masks. Some wear gloves. I’ve tried to find gloves, masks, and sanitizer but no such luck. I have resorted to the internet and Amazon, but considering our luck with Canadian mail, I hold no hope the masks I ordered will be delivered anytime soon. Funny thing, they come from China! Two months later in May, masks arrive…But they were the ones our oldest daughter made for us because she was worried for our health…she has been making masks for the staff at the little hospital near her home. In the past, such as after WW1, troops travelling back to the United States brought smallpox and Spanish flu. Today Snowbird winter travel, and cruise ships act like the MILITARY bringing disease back to their country of origin.

04/09/2020 Unabated CORONA case count grows coping continues: 4weeks isolation Canada 22,453 Death 987 USA 650,833 Death 32,707. Manitoba 221 Death 3 Arizona 3,018 Death 89

People in Canada have followed the rules as set out by the Premier of Manitoba. We’ve watched the news and everyone, no matter what country, recommends the same. Cough in your elbow, no hugs, wear a mask and stay 6’ away from people when you are out of your home. We have a big window that looks out at the street, sidewalks, and a busy intersection. For the first month it was like a ghost town, no one left their home and very few were in cars on the road. Most stores and businesses are closed. Hair salons, Gyms, (even the work out room at our condo is locked) clothing stores are not open. People tattle and tell the police if people break the rules. Yes rules…not laws, just someone you’ve never heard of, a stranger, telling thousands of people to do their will. It’s a bit scary to see this but we must comply as we are guest’s in Canada.

Our youngest son Michael teaches 5^th grade in Casa Grande AZ. and he told me he has been teaching online classes. On Monday, each student picks up a packet with Math, English, & Science reading and study sheets. He meets with them on Tuesdays and Thursdays in an online interactive class. (several times I sat in to see how it worked. The kids are well acquainted with computers so are very comfortable learning this way. At the end of the session he reads to them from the literature curriculum. Then on Fridays they can turn in their work to the school office and Mike picks them up to grade and in the office leaves new packets and their graded work. Online there were 22 students, several others don’t have access to computers. The students interact with Michael and each other well. It seems as if they are learning, even from home. I’ll bet this is harder on the mom’s than the kids!

On the Temple Jobsite, the company who is building the Winnipeg Temple, PCL, has mandated wearing masks for all workers and most meetings will be done via Zoom or Microsoft Meetings. We are told temperature taking will come in the next few weeks. We keep watching the news to see what is coming. We had watched the disease travel across continents and oceans to arrive in North America. I was surprised people were advised to return to the USA or wherever they were from. I was thinking, “Hey are those people bringing the virus back home?” People are to self-isolate for 14 days, but there is no way to know if they honor the request.

4/15/2020 Corona week 5 Isolation Canada Cases 37,622 Death 1,207 USA 650,833 Death 32,707

Manitoba 246 Death 5 Arizona 3,806 Death 131

4/17/2020; Moving trailer 4/19

MISSIONARY MOMENTs: Announcements came over CBC. Unintelligible

“It’s a shame that some people don’t understand the rules, Let’s go over the rules they are very simple, the remember the rules change daily, and some rules but not all rules apply depending on which state, country or province you live. And if you want to live…”

“First of all, you must stay in your house, and stay inside, unless you need to go outside, and you have a reason to go outside, then you can go outside.”

“Second, All stores must stay closed, unless they have a reason to be open, then they can stay open.”

“The virus is deadly, but don’t be afraid it only kills people who are vulnerable, or some who are not vulnerable, but stay locked down until it stops infecting people, and when enough people have had the virus we will have immunity, then we will be safe, so maybe you should get the virus and help others, isn’t this all about everyone else? So you should get infected, and also not get infected so you can stop being afraid . And by all means get grandma and grandpa out of the rest home!“

I’m confused by the voices that come from all over. Thank goodness for the leadership in our church. I know by following their counsel I will be safe.

4/21/2020 Six weeks of Isolation Manitoba is for the most part is Unharmed Canada 38,422. Death 1,837 USA 824,698 Death 45,297 Manitoba 256 Death 6 Arizona 4,929 Death 184

4/29/2020 Covid 19 Week 7

Canada 44,364 Death 4,871 USA 929,068 Death 184

Manitoba 263 Death 6 Arizona 6,045 Death 266

05/01/2020 MISSIONARY MOMENTS: Covid 19 is an Unsolved Mystery

Manitoba’s Primer has relaxed the restrictions on some businesses and parks, such as: · Non-urgent surgery and diagnostic procedures; Therapeutic and medical services; · Retail businesses, including clothing and sporting goods stores; · Restaurant patio or walk-up services; Hair salons; · Museums, galleries and libraries; · Seasonal day camps; and outdoor recreation, campgrounds. · Therapeutic and medical services; non-urgent surgery, diagnostics. Seasonal day camps; Outdoor recreation and Of course construction and essential businesses with the proper PPE have never stopped which includes our construction site. One goal is to get as much construction material within Canadian borders as possible. Monitoring for proper PPE is an issue as often well-meaning citizens report perceived violations.

We had a Zoom Relief Society meeting this week. About 15 sisters were able to connect with about half participating and joining the discussion. If we do this again it would be nice to mute the microphones, so we are not serenaded by a group of babies. However, it was fun to see the two new babies in the ward and learn of a move-in and a new member during our discussion. We have not seen each other since March 12, so two and a half months of isolation with no person to person contact was why we wanted to know about everyone’s activities and get isolation tips to not go nuts. The lesson was quite short due to this discussion.

A few of the things some of the Canadians or residents are struggling with are:

1. Many Canadians are new immigrants and worry about family back home in other countries. They also have difficulty contacting friends and this adds to stress

2. The health care system is okay for Canadians; however, a new immigrant does not have access to doctors or clinics until they have their province’s health care. To be eligible for this you must have a job and lived in Canada 3 months/183 days per year. Other visitors such as students pay for their own health care. Many new residents of Canada come from humble or difficult circumstances. and paying for health care is not in the budget.

3. For many their major associations are those at church and the lack of this interaction is distressing.

4. I suggested having facetime activities with family that is isolated or reading stories to grandkids.

Since Mid-March we have had Sunday School lessons on Come Follow me. We all sign on to Zoom and we get to see Megan and Darin’s family every week. Trevor, Ali and Ryan sign on from Cedar City where they are going to school at SUU, Nanell (Darin’s mom in Kanab) Beth and Jake are in Monroe with mom and Dad. Jake is preparing to send his missionary papers in soon. It is a fun way to see how everyone is doing. I wish other kids would do the same but that would take the entire day. After our Sunday School, our neighbor Ruth Gietz comes knocking on our door like a little woo pecker and joins us for Sacrament. Often, we discuss some gospel principles and her German heritage. She was in East Germany during WWII

“When it comes to the probability of a pandemic of Flu, I think everyone would say, It's not if, it's when."

Donald Burke M.D. Director of Johns Hopkins Center for Immunization Research

On Rt. This picture of nurses and patients after a flu and yellow fever pandemic almost looks like us going to the grocery store. Except, where is the social distancing?

05/15/2020 Covid 19 Isolation: Week #9

Canada cases 44,364 Death 4,871 USA 929,068 Manitoba 263 Death 6 265 6 death We are moving back to the Trailer and think we can get more work completed.

06/01/2020 MISSIONARY MOMENTS: Covid News, Isolation Week #12 We had a fantastic week with the weather warming and skies clearing here in Winnipeg. The bikers, walkers, and dog walkers have doubled in the last week. This is the only medication for “cabin fever”, which everyone is infected with.

06/15/2020 MISSIONARY MOMENTS: Covid Isolation continues Week #14

Canada Cases 100, 959 Deaths 8,410 USA cases 2,282,371 Deaths 705,703

Manitoba 313 7 Arizona: 46,689. 1,239

You might ask what benefits have we received by the mandatory lock down and social distancing? We have found new ways to communicate. This week the Winnipeg Missionaries taught us a lesson by an electronic conferencing program. We also are connecting with our children in the same fashion. It is a new way of communication for us that I hope will not stop.

“COME UNTO ME, ALL YE THAT LABOUR AND ARE HEAVY LADEN, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. TAKE MY YOKE UPON YOU AND LEARN OF ME; FOR I AM MEEK AND LOWLY IN HEART: AND YE SHALL FIND REST UNTO YOUR SOULS. FOR MY YOKE IS EASY AND MY BURDEN IS LIGHT.”

MATTHEW 11:28-30

06/25/2020 MISSIONARY MOMENTS: Covid Isolation Week #15

WE just signed off of a Zoom Devotional for the missionaries. We were asked by President Hitchcock to present at the Winnipeg Mission meeting with all the 80+ missionaries. I spoke on the Temple and Elder Hanrion spoke on Missionary work. He had recently discovered an Uncle that he only knew as a rounder and man who loved his drink who had been a missionary in Canada. To earn his mission money, he took neighbors’ flocks of sheep up to the mountain in the summer to keep the sheep cool. In the winter he boxed to win the purse to add to his savings. Genealogy is so interesting and often reveals things we never knew. We keep watch on the case numbers and as they add up in Arizona, here in Manitoba the numbers are very minimal, and we continue to be grateful we were allowed to remain in Winnipeg. My look-back at epidemics and pandemics in my life. Uncommon problems

In the late 1800’s bubonic plague, black death, consumption/TB, killed millions and could cripple a city, or an entire continent. The World Health Organization was established in 1948 to further international cooperation for improved public health conditions and to study, combat emerging illnesses. Toward the mid-1950’s Children in North America. and Europe were mass-immunized against Smallpox, Whooping Cough, Measles, Diphtheria and Polio (Salk & Sabin). I was among the children who stood in line at school to get the immunization shots in arms and legs (girls got the smallpox immunization on their upper leg because it always left a large scar.) West Nile Virus transmitted by mosquitos was identified with neurological symptoms first in 1935 and became a problem in the United States in 1953. At the age of 16, I was a student nurse at Olive View county communicable disease hospital that treated T.B. patients. In 1962 I was drafted into the army during the Vietnam war. When they figured-out I was only 17 the notification was withdrawn. 1n 1964 as a new Registered nurse, I saw the Hong Kong Flu infect unsuspecting people who became violently ill. I was working in a doctor’s office in Beverly Hills California as a cardiac research assistant. Toward the end of the epidemic, a flu immunization became available, but many were fearful, and very few took advantage of it. In 1969 while working at Universal Studios I gave over 100 flu-shots in one day. In the 1970’s Along came the Russian swine Flu and in 1976 an epidemic of a viral haemorrhagic disease called EBOLA was researched in the United States @ Ft. Detrick Md. Very few cases were found in North America, however, it was recognized as a potential for world wide pandemic. In 1983 while working in Hollywood at an ICU unit I cared for several young men who had a rare lung cancer (Kaposi’s Sarcoma) which was soon recognized as an indicator of HIV-AIDS. At first, health care professionals were told by CDC that this disease was not transmitted from person to person…(I was skeptical). Then the diagnosis of HIV became the political hot potato for homosexuals and blood transfusion recipients who had the majority of identified cases of AIDS. Some activists felt HIV positive patients would be treated with prejudice. During that debate, health care professionals were not allowed to know if a patient was HIV positive. In protecting patient privacy, doctors and nurses were put at risk, some contracted the disease, and died. This development was the reason for Universal Precautions for all patients. Today gloves, masks, and other protective equipment is used in all hospitals for all patients. This policy was implemented to not single-out HIV positive patients. Toward the end of 1989 it was confirmed by CDC that HIV was transmitted through blood and body fluids. (origin: The West Africa chimpanzee). I had a family, five children, and wanted to avoid extended contact with persons of unknown HIV status, so I completed my degree in Public-Community Health and became a Professor of Nursing Education. Finally, in 1992 health care workers were allowed to know the HIV status of patients on a “need to know” basis. UCLA Olive-View County Hospital re-opened in 2003 after retrofitting from 1997 earthquake damage, all staff, including doctors professors and students were given mandated immunizations against hepatitis and H1N1 Swine Flu. 2013 brought a new Avian H1N1 Flu, and trivalent immunizations were given when available. My husband and I retired and moved to Arizona in 2014. Our 1^st Mission in Tucson Az. Began in 08/2015. Our 2^nd Mission to Winnipeg MB. Began in 08/2018. Corona 19 was first noticed in China 12/2019. And why am I not surprised that this new and virulent virus has come to a street near…. all of us!

Today August 26, 2020 this diary comes to an end, not because the pandemic is over, but because it continues, and we know not how long. The counts of cases and deaths are posted daily, and the horror has become a part of our lives, along with riots, and chaos. Long ago a pledge was made by WE THE PEOPLE, to protect our lands from all enemies both foreign and domestic, with no mention of destruction by disease. But we adapt and press on…and on…

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