"The Jingle Bell Bum" (Read The Touching True Story...please!) Comment at patriciahanrion.com

"The Jingle Bell Bum" (Read The Touching True Story...please!) Comment at patriciahanrion.com
Still available on Amazon for Nook and Kindle, hard copy booklett to re-print November 2013

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Wow, am I creative!

So Here is another gem written for my husband's work crew at the end of a construction job for a blood fractionation plant at Baxter Pharmaceutical...Who ever said construction guys are too rough to love a good poem.

If you love words that rhyme then this is for you!    

                                            This is it…for the Baxter Job!

This is it, were on our way;   Adios is all there is to say…

So into the sunset the TC gang will ride;   Most are pooped and a bit cross-eyed

The last to leave the sinking ship;  Are those that usually forget to zip

Like Hugo the guy who is quiet and shy;  Who loves to primp and beautify

He's the solver of problems and other stuff;   Some think he's a wimp, but we know he's tough

And Paul who is our trailer trash;   A leader of ours who likes countin' the cash

He's the meeting director, and agenda keeper;  He's also the job slob and late over-sleeper

Randine gets the calls and keeps all things neat ;  She's know for her smile and her big stinky feet

From the guys she collects the drug test pee;  And dances to salsa with much mirth and glee

This is it pals were gone and outa' here now;  And all we can say is Adios and Aloha and Ciao!

But before you let the door hit your butt;   Check your shorts and pull in your gut

No more with the pipes and engineering the mess;   We can be proud that we left this job a success

And the guy who is punchy and deals with the list;   His girlfriend thinks he ain't never been kissed

It's Nick, the Bark man, be-friender of all;    He's hyper and jumpy and bathes in pure alcohol

And Nino talks funny like Father Sarduci;    His tummy from beer is getting soft and poochie

He's the love of the ladies with dark sexy eyes;    Be careful he'll tell you tall stories and lies

The best for the last and the last is the best;    For Smitty's the guy who has passed the true test

Don't judge the job by the look of his desk;   We all know it's chaos, an organized mess

We know he is glad to be off the long road;   Where he drank caffeine and squished many a toad

And he eats his prunes and all his bran;    He and Pat then fight for the pot and the fan

And when at his desk he uses his tummy;   To hold his donuts sweet and yummy

When he loses a bet a push-up to do;   Watch out for the "white spider" will turn it on you

Yes he's glad to leave the Baxter plant;     For he really is a Beaumont transplant

So farewell to the gang for a job well done;   It's been a great challenge and lots of grand fun

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Disneyland Stole Smell-o-vision?

My dad was in the film industry and would often take me to premiers and such things.  One I particularly loved was a new innovation…Smell-o-Vision.  I even had a theater party for my 16th birthday where we went down to Sunset Blvd to see one of the new smelly films.  The hoses were set under the seats and at different times in the film scents...smells...and air were sent out the tubes.  The idea was that the smells were to give you clues and ideas on how to solve a crime.  At least that's what happened in the few I saw.  The bad thing was, the smell was never a surprise as about 30 seconds before you could smell anything, a hissing sound erupted from below your seat and a wind took off that would raise a Marilyn Monroe skirt like in the famous photo.  Then finally the smell came.  Often you knew what the odor was to be by the picture on the screen, and often the odor was quite off.  By that I mean a mere dud of a smell reproduction.  Vomit, cow poop, and other noxious smells were interspersed with roses, orange blossoms, and men's aftershave to change it up a bit...and somehow the nasty smells were more realistic than the ones that were supposed to be pleasant.  And so Smell-o-vision came and went like many other fads.

The idea must have waited in someone's vault because recently I went to Disneyland and one of the shows we went into had smells released throughout the show.  From under the seats of course, and a bit better technology in the presentations without the hiss or whoosh, but still a bit corny...Not so much a part of the story, or a way to solve crime, but to add atmosphere I suppose. 

I mention this because I had a deja-vu of sorts of smell-o-vision on a 5 1/2 hr. plane flight home from my daughter's home in Maryland.  It had been a great trip and I spent a fun and relaxing spring break with my four grandsons.  We visited lots of historic places and just hung-out.  They are such great young men.  James, Zachary, Luke and Harrison are such fun to spend time with I sure wish they lived closer, or plane tickets were cheaper.  Especially since I don't think their family can come out to our little family reunion this summer due to plane ticket prices.  6 tickets anymore is a small fortune so they will have to pass this time and I am so sad.

Anyway, my reason for my Smell-o-Vision discussion is due to the fact that for the entire time on the plane I was assaulted by the odor wafting from the two teenagers in the seats next to me. (I was window, and they were middle and aisle).  Please Please, watch what you eat before a flight...never mind covering a cough! Cover the smells...I'm not sure how, but I was gaging and on the verge of puking the entire trip.

This flight only rivaled the time I was middle-seat and had Mr. Crisco Window and Mrs. Lard Aisle each weigh over 400 pounds and had fat slop over on both sides of me through and over the arms and into my seat space.  The bad thing was, once seated I was pinned like a wrestler who had lost the match and could hardly move.  I believe that may have been when my severe claustrophobia began.  However in my constant quest for finding something good…at least if I was in an accident I could have had lots and lots of padding in the crash!