"The Jingle Bell Bum" (Read The Touching True Story...please!) Comment at patriciahanrion.com

"The Jingle Bell Bum" (Read The Touching True Story...please!) Comment at patriciahanrion.com
Still available on Amazon for Nook and Kindle, hard copy booklett to re-print November 2013

Monday, May 2, 2011

Jury Duty and fear of government cheese!

As responsible citizens my husband and I have always voted, and done jury service, however I always waited for the shoe to drop as I’d heard there were some tenacious government employees armed with angst and a feeling of “I got ‘ya by the #$%?” who lurked beyond the horizon in the darkness of a tax payer-paid cubicle.
Well the shoe dropped and we were hit by the anonymous person with unwarranted power to ruin lives. The Jury service summons arrived during a particular unsettling time.  Actually it started in December of 2010.  He got the summons and dutifully called each night to be told he was NOT needed by the roto-caller machine. 

About 4 weeks later he got a summons stating he had missed one night of calling and due to this abhorrent neglect needed to go through the jury duty another time.  (Mind you he has for the past three to four years honorably completed the assignment given and served on several juries and both my daughter and I heard him make the calls each evening.  But this was not good enough!)
After a phone call to the enforcer, the person who answered our complaint, in total disbelief that Patrick had made the required calls, stated basically, “Our technology and the phone machine is never wrong and obviously you are a criminal to have not made your call to determine if you were needed and will have to fulfill your service again!”
My sweet husband, rather than argue decided Okay, send me the required summons and I’ll do the service again.  Wrong! Because between the time he agreed to do the service again and when the second summons arrived his work situation was sketchy at best.  His job on the high school was completed and he was shuffled out to Palos Verdes awaiting a new assignment. Soon he heard he would be working in San Diego on the new airport. 
The summons came and so the rocky journey began.  “Hello? Yes this is regarding juror # 0902, he isn’t here anymore, or won’t be, He’s been transferred to San Diego.” 

“Yea! Give me proof you criminals” 

“Well he hasn’t left yet, but by the time of the summons he will be gone” 

“Prove it!” the disbelieving voice responded.
“Okay, I will… tell me where to send the documentation.” 

“Put it into the envelope and I’ll give him a one year deferral.” 

“What if he goes somewhere else?”  

“You mean you don’t know where he's going.”
“Look lady, he’s being transferred and we’re not sure where…it may be Guam, you know the eight mile wide, thirty mile long island in the pacific with zombies.” 

“Right…send me proof.”
The transfer contract came and his new place of employment was “Intel” in either New Mexico or Arizona.  A week later we heard on a Friday he was to be in Arizona on Monday.  And in a whirlwind frenzy, like getting a kid ready for college, he left…not even knowing where he was to stay.  Some guy he spoke with would hook-him-up with a place when he got there.  The hotel could only give him space for a week, so I got busy on the Internet and was able to find him an apartment in four days…fully furnished. 
I sent her a utility receipt from our house in Arizona since she would not accept my, “He won’t have a utility receipt because his company will be paying the bills,” the Fredonia Arizona receipt was the best I could do.  I was assured this receipt would be sufficient to get a one year deferral.
Low and behold, last Saturday in the mail came a notice threatening with a warrant for arrest as we had NOT sent proof of his transfer.  “What is wrong with them? Where did my letter go with the receipt from the utility department?  Have they nothing better to do than harass decent citizens about jury duty?  It’s not as if either of us has ever dodged the duty, In fact we've been more than willing to serve, but now we are determined if we move….NOT to register to vote as we’ve been told those are the folks they finger to lock into the system and harass.  And I’m not so sure my vote counts any way!

If he doesn't get a deferral and is working Arizona, will they come out to the house and arrest ME? or force me to eat government cheese...That's it!, we're moving...Bye bye, Governor Moon Beam!"


"SO, I spoke to Sergio #75 at the Jury service office....after an over 45 min wait on the phone, by then I had taken a shower, fixed my hair, rummaged through my jewelry box for an old Morgan silver dollar I'd seen on TV had value beyond 1$, and painted my toe-nails.  As I finally spoke to Sergio #75 (who are operators # 1-74...and is there an operator past 75...I have no idea?)  It took me a while to make sense as my thoughts were way beyond the Jury Duty issue and on to Osama's death by USA forces...I finally got back on track and spit out the issue.

He said..."Just send a copy of his new driver's lic. or a utility bill" 

"But he's not permanently in that area, so he's not getting a new license. I expect him home in 8 months...around October." "

I said, "What about a rental agreement, because I found out the utility bill has Pat on it...my name, but his too...but he is changing it to Norman like you have on his jury notice, his first name as Pat, since it really is Norman and his middle name is Patrick...seems to be too difficult for people that we have the same name." I was rambling I'm sure!

"Huh?...Nope!, not good enough!  Oh, I'll defer him until October if you expect him home then."

"Okay Sergio, but if his contract is extended what do I do?"

"Can't say, but wait until then..." he trailed off and was silent!~

I thought..."Yea Sergio, by then you will have moved on and take no responsibility and won't care, Admit it...You  expect me wear handcuffs in October." then thought, it's 6 months from now....I'll worry about it later I guess.  If anything happens I'll let everyone know...film at 11:00   October first of me being carted away. 

"Alright" came out of my mouth while visions of government cheese once again danced in my head.

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